First Person GTA: The Real-Life Idiots
I’ll be the first to say that video games, movies and TV shows; are not to be blamed for real human stupidity. Their purpose is to entertain and entertain only, so please, don’t try any of the following at home. I know those of you who have played GTA V are either close to beating it, or you already have. One of the best parts about a new a video game release; is when people try to re-enact or re-create them. The following is a compiled list of the most recent, craziest, and dumbest crimes committed that are just so Rockstar inspired, you have to wonder. Saving the best for last, we’re going to go from one star, to five- GTA style.
In Montargis, a town south of France, two employees of Micromania innocently dressed up for the release of Grand Theft Auto V. They went original and classy as their costumes included face masks and toy guns. Shockingly enough, not everyone seemed to “get it” and a local observer called the police with their concern. The real report is all in French, but the police came packing heat. 15 officers were sent to handle these would be thugs, some of which were armed with submachine guns. Luckily enough for these “hood rats”, no one was harmed in the tactical strike. A police officer was quoted “It could have ended very badly.” Yes it could have. These guys get one police star.
Next up, we have the Staten Island boys who were arrested along with Matthew Kirsheh, 20, of Furness Place in New Springville and charged with criminal impersonation of the second-degree for posing as cops to cut line at a GTA V release. Rolling in style, they were driving an actual police car that was purchased in an auction; it was even installed with a ‘siren and lights’ package. Their getup included an actual auxiliary badge as one of them is an auxiliary volunteer of the NYPD’s 122nd precinct, a fake NYPD shield, and an NYPD shield tattoo. They actually almost got away with it too. Mall officials offered to buy them coffee after they showed off their badges and GameStop even granted their purchases ahead of a line of people. Their confidence high, they made an incorrect u-turn in front of a real police officer in an unmarked car. The police officer allegedly followed the car to the assailants house before pulling them over and questioning them. Their misdemeanor charge could earn them up to a year in jail. These guys get two police stars.
This next one is going to be full of irony for those that have chosen option C in GTA V. This beauty pictured above was stolen from a Weston home sometime between Sept. 17th and Sept. 25th. The owner of the car, Tim Natarus said that his is most likely the only car like itself on the road in his town. Natarus has estimated the car to be worth between 13,000 and 30,000 depending on the restorations and the engine inside. The thief also managed to get away with an unnumbered amount of firearms from the residence at the same time the car was taken. The types of weapons in question, have not been released. This mystery criminal gets three police stars for taking guns and a vintage car.
Everyone has that urge to do bad stuff sometimes. It’s fun to do bad things. Well, Freshman Lacrosse player Zachary Burgess took fantasy and shoved it into reality’s hard world face. Last Saturday, Sept. 21st, the genius pictured above decided to hijack a car that was running, and oh yeah, still had a passenger in it. He held the woman captive while he proceeded to run into about 9 other cars before fleeing the scene. Now, THAT is definitely GTA style. Allegedly, a group of witnesses grabbed Burgess and held him there until police arrived on the scene. His charges? Theft of an Auto Vehicle, Hit and run, and some simple kidnapping. Burgess was quoted, “I wanted to see what it was really like to play Grand Theft Auto in real life”. This bright young individual gets four police stars.
In west Philidelphia born and raised, stealing ambulances is where I spent most of my days…..Florida native Brian Timothy Kada has been arrested for stealing an ambulance at gunpoint during busy Philidelphia traffic yesterday, Sept. 27th. Kada kicked the two operators in the front of the ambulance out of the vehicle, without even checking for anyone else in the back. Kada took off speeding through traffic with a sick patient in tow. Kada doesn’t get far however before the ambulance gets a flat tire and starts riding on a rim; ’It was pretty scary. He was weaving in and out of traffic, on a blowout tire riding on that rim. I thought he was going to flip over,’ eyewitness Brian Perkins said. ‘All of the sudden there was an ambulance in my rear view mirror. He’s just coming at me. I pull over to let him by. He swerves, almost clips the front of the car. I notice a blown out tire in the back, and smoke coming out from under the hood,’ he said. Smoke from under the hood? GTA style. The flat tire forced Kada to flee the scene on foot where the cops eventually caught up to him. His charges? Kidnapping, assault and my guess is also some grand theft auto. This guy gets five police stars for stealing an ambulance with a sick patient inside. Way to go sport!